iBible?

My life the past 10 days has been overcome with Vicodin, sleep, Go-Gurt, pudding, and ice cream. All benefits of having 4 impacted wisdom teeth carved out of my head. The benefit to that time was that I was too out of it to do much studying, and I had scrambled to accomplish most of what was due the next week before the surgery. That left me with all weekend, my notebook, and my Bible.

I love my Bible, and I'm not saying that lightly. I have had it for almost exactly a year, when my parents gave it to me on my 18th birthday. (I kept taking Dad's because I liked the version better than what I had, and the cross-reference numbers are great!!)

I am not one of those people who uses my iPhone as my Bible. Sure, I'll do it in a pinch, but it bugs me to see people doing it in Church, or when I hear of them doing all of their quiet times and devotions off their mechanical device... There is something about having the burgundy, leather-bound, gold-plated book in my hands. It's heavy - it practically weighs as much as I do ;). It has a distinct smell. It's pages crinkle easy...

But it's mine. My Love Letter from my Savior. It is full of highlights, pencil markings, underlines, notes, and dates. In it is everything I could ever imagine about Him. When I read it, I am overwhelmed by His glory and power. I literally cannot fathom His might or His Love.

"The Lord is great, and greatly to be praised,

He is to be feared above all gods.

Splendor and Majesty are before Him,

Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary"

(Psalms 96:4,6)

It blows my mind that He put the Bible together so that we can spend time with Him, learning of His attributes, His personality, His anger, His might, His jealousy, and His overwhelming Love for us. We can seek His guidance, know His will, and learn what is expected of us as His children. In and of itself, the Bible is an example of His Love. If we take the time to read it, ponder it, and search it for what it holds, treating it like the treasure it is, we will not be disappointed.

Having the Bible on my phone is handy when I'm on lunch break and I want to review whatever I'm memorizing. But when I'm seriously spending time with Him, nothing beats having a tangible copy of His Love in my hands. This allows me to spend an unlimited amount of time with Him... without having to worry about running out of battery ;).

Valentine-less?

Roses, chocolate, mushy cards, kisses, hugs, hearts, pink, red... Every February 14th it rolls around once again. And those of us without a significant other usually end up down in the dumps, depressed and/or sickened by the displays of love around us.

I have to admit it surprises me every year how many people I know (specifically the girls) want to skip over tomorrow as if it never existed. Simply because they don't have a guy, and label themselves as 'single'. A couple years ago, I was in the same crowd. I was more focused on myself than being happy for those who are in (hopefully) healthy, strong, and Godly relationships (I'm ignoring the fast-track shallow relationships for now). I was more focused on my immediate wants then what God had in mind for my love life (or lack thereof). I think it's pretty safe to say that every girl goes through that stage. Some stay stuck in it, and some recognize they are being selfish.

Thankfully, He showed me I was being a selfish brat. Not only towards those around me who were happy, but also towards the man He has for me.

"The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil,

All the days of her life."

(Proverbs 31:11-12)

Notice that it doesn't say "All the days after they meet" or "All the days after she says 'I do'." It's all the days of her (my) life. This verse completely rearranged my mindset... Being single isn't a time to goof off and mess around. It's a time to earn his trust, to grow spiritually, to love him, to be faithful to him, and mature to be a woman worthy of being his wife.

That's why I don't dread Valentines day anymore. Honestly, it's exciting! I have seen the way God has woven together the love stories of the people around me, and it excites me. It makes me eager to see what He has in plan for me. The day has become a reminder to pray for the man He has for me, and motivation to continue to trust in God's timing. Yes, some days it is hard. But the good days outweigh the hard days.

So yes, by the worlds standards, I will spend this February 14th "Valentine-less." But I really won't.. =) I have a Dad who loves me and cares for me and an amazing God who has my heart in His hands. And for this Valentine's day at least, that is the way it is supposed to be.

=)

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope;

For why does one also hope for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

(Romans 8:24, 25)

Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement

grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus;

That with one accord you may with one voice

glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Romans 15:5-7)

I read these verses two days after spending way too much time worrying. I really like Francis Chan's definition of worry... (which I also read this week).

"worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."

I was also stressing...

"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our right grip of control."

What was I stressing about? Life. College, mainly. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to find out if I have been accepted into the PTA program I applied to last year. Honestly, I'm as impatient sometimes as I can be stubborn. I don't enjoy waiting! I knew the letter telling me the verdict was supposed to come sometime in February, but I was already anxiously awaiting it about halfway through January. It's hard not to think about something like that!

When I read the verses above on Thursday morning, I realized something.

I realized that I was NOT glorifying God with my worrying and stressing over a silly piece of paper. God gives us perseverance through His word and His Spirit, and quite honestly, I had hit the point where I wasn't allowing Him to give that perseverance. I wasn't even hoping for the letter, I was worried. Worried that I might not be good enough, smart enough, or whatever else the board making the decision was looking for.

I spent much time praying that morning... Apologizing, really. Apologizing for not trusting Him and allowing Him to give me encouragement and perseverance. Apologizing for stressing. Apologizing for worrying. After I finished that, I thanked Him for showing me that and told Him that I would wait hopefully until He showed me the plan He has in store for me.

That day at work, I didn't worry about it once. I even spent twenty minutes talking with a co-worker about the program, the expectations, and how I didn't know exactly when I would know if I got in or not. No worries, I felt completely calm about it all. And as I ate lunch, I once again thanked God for His timing.

Fast forward to that night when I get home...

I'm back in my room... Putting all my stuff away from the day and changing into comfy clothes (forget the khakis and dress shirt!). This is also the first day in the last couple weeks that I wasn't disappointed to see that there wasn't a letter waiting for me on my bed (where my mail is normally put, so I actually get it!).

Mom calls me out to the living room.

She has an envelope.

From Finlandia University.

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a second.

She had me sit next to her, and we opened it together...

I cried.

Mom and I sat there and prayed, thanking God for His provision and how He has worked so mightily in my life this past year... And I cried again(And then in typical college student style, I went and made my phone calls telling everyone and made it "Facebook Official.";-]).

ONE day. That's all it took... It really does floor me when I think that I had honestly surrendered it that morning for the first time, and then I got the letter when I got home roughly twelve hours after I told Him it was all His, and I was done spazzing over it.

Needless to say, I am excited! Not just because I got in the program, but because I have once again seen first-hand how amazing my God is. How much He Loves me. And how my ways are not His ways, which is why I have got to let Him do what He is going to do, in His time. I know 12 hours is probably a record of some sort for a quick reply on His end. Sometimes He asks us to wait for months, days, or even years.. Patiently, giving Him the glory He deserves.

One last picture... This will go in the mail tomorrow, officially holding my spot in the program =).

(I am sorry these are blurry... Blame my iPhone!)

So Mom asked me today when I was going to write my next blog post. My response?

"When I have no more homework."

Yeah...... That'll be a while.

But honestly, I was thinking about what I would write if I wrote one, and I simply can't choose.

I could tell you about my new job (which I LOVE).

I could tell you about school (which I also love, just find overwhelming at times).

I could tell you about how I have impacted wisdom teeth and can't eat anything hard or chewy without intense pain (this bites, I like Skittles, Snickers, and Steak too much for this diet :P).

I could tell you about how we started another Bible Study, on Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

I could tell you about how I never seem to sleep anymore (this also bites, but I think until I am free of my wisdom teeth, it will be normal).

I could tell you that I am uber excited the Packers made the Super Bowl! (and knowing that my Uncle will have Heavenly front-row seats to see his favorite team play in the Super Bowl!!! <3)

See? Too many options. When I have something that excites me lately, I find someone to tell. Because if I don't tell someone right away, I forget. And then fall asleep. And then it's gone... Zzzz...

But seriously? I think my devotion and prayer time have become so personal and so sweet, that for the most part, I'm writing it away. Holding it close to my heart. There are aspects of it that I want to share, and I do share them. But the majority of what God has been showing me lately has been just between He and I. And frankly, I'm loving it.

He is showing me what it means to Love, to be patient, to trust, to grow in Him so that I can grow to the role(s) He has for me in the future, whatever they may be. He is giving me trials, however large or small they may be, and helping me learn how to react to them by leaning and depending on Him. He is giving me opportunities to bless and serve, even if it is hard and I have to grit my teeth in the beginning, or sacrifice something else that would bless me, so that I can bless someone else. His Word has really become my Love Letter, and as I wake up each morning, I'm excited to see what it has to hold for me. As I go to bed each night, I have to crack it open one more time to see what else He has to say for me. And sure, there are days where I'm like "huh. Ok..." and there are also days where I fall asleep before I get it all the way open ;-). But mostly, I come away from my time with Him feeling so Loved and cherished.

And that, is why I haven't been writing lately. I do have things here and there I will write about, a couple have come to mind. But for now, I will stick with reading my Love Letter and learning all that I can about Him =).

My favorite verses of late...

Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For, behold, those who are far from Thee will perish;

Thou hast destroyed all those who are unfaithful to Thee.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God my refuge.

That I may tell of all Thy works.

(Psalms 73:25-28)

(Oh, one more thing.... GO PACKERS!!!!!)

2010 In Review

The year of 2010 was incredible. I honestly cannot believe that it has already come to an end, it has flown! It has held so many lessons, so many laughs, and so many wonderful moments.

LEARNING

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

(2 Timothy 3:16, 17)

The largest chunk of my life this year went to college.. I practically lived there, or so it seemed some days with arriving at 8:30 and leaving around 6 or 7. Chemistry, English, Anatomy and Physiology, Trig, Psychology... So many subjects and so much to learn! At times it was overwhelming, trying to keep everything straight. I have to say, I am a nerd/geek/whatever you want to call it. I love science. I can live with the English, and Psych was interesting, but I actually get science. Especially Chemistry =). I am so thankful for all that I learned, not only pertaining to those subjects, but also about managing my time... Making sure that I stayed on top of my homework so that I could get to bed at a decent time, and in turn be able to get up early enough to get some time with God in before the craziness of a new day started was a major challenge for me. But I did my best to meet it head on.

Learning not only academically though, I was part of a Bible study with my church this fall that was amazing! We did a study on why the Bible is in fact, The Word of God, and through that learned how to defend it. When we started it up we were pretty excited when we had 5 people. By the end of the semester it grew to an average of 13 college students from the area! The times we had of prayer, and delving deeper into the Word of God together were priceless. There were few things that blessed me more than to hear someone ask a question, and see 4 or 5 people go straight to the Bible for the answer. I cannot wait to start a new study back up in a couple weeks!

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10)

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

(Proverbs 27:17)

My friends are a huge part of this year. They were there for me when I was having a lousy day, they brought me Phish Food ice cream, gummy dinosaurs and Mike N' Ikes after my knee surgery, they made me laugh, they made me cry (from laughter), we went places such as the beach and the Big Ticket Festival, did things, made memories.. It was grand =). More importantly then that, is the time we spent together talking about God and how incredibly amazing He really, truly is. I love that God has blessed me with friends who love Him crazy much!

There is nothing like realizing this could possible be your last full year at home to make you want to spend as much time with your family as possible. I am so thankful that we are all as close as we are, and that we can laugh over some of the most ridiculous things! We humor ourselves in the oddest of ways, but we love each other. As we have all gotten older the times we have together have gotten fewer... But the times we spend together have also gotten sweeter. I thank God regularly that we are all still here to celebrate momentous occasions together, such as 22nd, 18th, 15th, and 11th birthdays!

SURGERY

(Yes, the only picture I am putting on here is my X-ray, partly due to stupid internet, and partly due to the fact that I think it is a neat picture!)

Yes, this was a large part of 2010. If you've known me for longer than a year, you know I spent a lot of time in pain due to my knee. But this year I finally had my knee fixed! The surgery itself wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be (though honestly, a broken tibia does really hurt. Especially when the nerve block wears off...) and after the first ten days or so I was off the Oxycodone and Vicodin. But the realization that I was completely dependent on those around me for the first 4 weeks or so after was huge for me. Crutches don't mesh with self-reliance very well, and I had to learn to let others help me... With everything. Not being able to drive for 2 months, I was stuck at home all the time! Having a brace from my hip to my ankle, I was stuck anywhere I sat down! I exhibited ultimate stubbornness when I went to the Big Ticket Festival for 3 days and walked an average of probably 3 miles a day in a locked brace, one month after surgery. Needless to say, my knee was the size of a cantaloupe. But I got to meet Fireflight and see Newsboys, so it was worth it! Through this all, I came to greatly appreciate my friends and family, and I have gotten much better at dropping my pride and letting them help me. Even when I don't want to (again, pride)... But I am happy (more like thrilled) to say that the surgery was a success =D.

TWENTY-ELEVEN

What does this next year hold?! Lots! I am so excited to see what God does next in my life, as well as those around me... Things such as:

• After one more semester, graduating from NCMC in May with an Associates of Science!
• God-willing, moving on to Finlandia University in August to pursue a Physical Therapist Assistant degree (which means road trips for the family! ;-)). It's a fast-paced one year program that I will be done with in May of 2012!
• Running... This is my major "new years resolution." Now that the knee no longer kills with every step, I have a 5K in sight!
• A new job as a Physical Therapist Aid at a local Sports Center in town. I am psyched!
• Growing deeper in my relationship with my family and my best friends, and making new friends as well!
• More than anything, I hope and pray that this is a year I can look back on and know that I grew as a woman of God. That I seek after Him first and foremost, and don't allow anything to get in the way of my relationship with Him. That He will look at me and call what He sees "beautiful." That others will look at me and see Him, and not me...

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.

'Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

'And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

(Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Beautiful for Me

I wish I knew how to import YouTube videos... That is definitely on the docket to learn how to do. Eventually...

For now though, I'll give you the link. And encourage you to go listen to this song - especially if you're a girl/woman/female/aunt/sister. This song is powerful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orc4TuIO56s

Every girl young and old has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down
What’s the mirror gonna say
With some luck, you’ll measure up
But you might not hold a candle to the rest
“Is that your best?” says the mirror to the mess

But there’s a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice
and he says

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me

If it’s true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
Want my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold
I want a heart that’s captivating
I wanna hear my Father say

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Oh
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful for me

Close your eyes
Look inside
Let me see the you that you’ve been trying to hide
Long ago, I made you so very beautiful
So I ought to know you’re beautiful

Has anybody told you you’re beautiful?
You might agree if you could see what I see
Yeah
‘Cuz everything about you is incredible
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you beautiful
You’re so beautiful
Beautiful for me
So beautiful for me
Has anybody told you?

This is one of those songs that I could've written, had I had the song-writer ability. But I don't, and thankfully someone else wrote it for me! I don't know one girl who doesn't want to be told that they are beautiful by someone who is important to them. There's nothing like that feeling. And to know that God thinks we are beautiful, and that He specifically created us beautifully for Him, is a feeling like none other.

We unfortunately live in a world where beauty seems to be measured by how much skin you show. The more, the better. Or so the world says. And they are brutal! I have seen many tears be shed over the cruel standards the world follows, and shed some myself as well. We girls are way too hard on ourselves when it comes to this, always comparing ourselves to those around us..

This song is a reminder that we are made in God's image, beautifully for Him. He sees not only the outside, but the inside as well. I am so thankful that what the world follows is not what counts. It is not the size of your jeans, the straightness of your hair, or how low/tight/high your clothing is. Rather, I say that I "Want my life and what’s inside to give him something to behold, I want a heart that’s captivating." Because that is what truly matters.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord,

she shall be praised.

(Proverbs 31:30)

Christmas Past

*phew*

Christmas is over.

Wait, what?!

Why are we always so thankful when it's over? Why does it bring relief? Why do we almost get happy about putting away the decorations, folding up the stockings, and taking the tree outside for the birds (or, if you do the "fake" thing, putting it back in its box!)?

Walking into Church the morning after Christmas, I was surprised at how many of the adults asked me "so, what'd you get?!" Not "Merry Christmas!" or "what did you do with your family?" but, "What did you get?!" It struck me as being sad... Had I been 6 or 7, I'm sure that I would've had plenty to share. And while I did get some pretty amazing and thoughtful gifts this Christmas season, I honestly wanted to get sarcastic with them. I didn't, I promise! I was respectful, and I answered!

In 2007 Mom and Dad made a declaration. We were going to have a "homemade" Christmas. Everything, and I do mean everything that we gave had to be made. Needless to say, this did not go over so swell with a 19 year old, 15 year old, 12 year old, and 8 year old... At least in the beginning. And then we started to get into it. There was woodworking, crocheting, drawing, knotting, sewing, painting, screwing, and metal-smashing. Then on Christmas morning, there was some honest surprise and shock over what everyone managed to pull together. It was a meaningful Christmas. And while none of us got the newest iPod, or gaming system, or computer, or digital camera, we were forced to be thoughtful. And the emphasis wasn't on the gifts.

2008, same deal. Only this time, stocking stuffers could be store bought.

2009, we switched it up a bit more. Gifts could be bought, but there was a price limit. I think honestly, we were almost disappointed that we could buy them! And there were still homemade gifts that made it under the tree.

This year, we gave what we now call "store bought" gifts for the first time in 3 years. It was weird, honestly, to have to go shopping. But I tried to make each gift as meaningful as I could. And after Christmas morning, I can safely say that everyone else did as well.

When Mom and Dad decided to first do the homemade Christmas, I wasn't thrilled. But honestly, I have never been more thankful for it. Not only did I get to spend hours crocheting (literally.), but I learned what it really meant to give. To be thoughtful. To show my Love through what I was doing. And now, I can see it all building in what we did this year, and for that I am thankful.

For my family, Christmas is not about "stuff." I'm not saying that we don't enjoy getting and giving gifts, because really, who doesn't? And I'm not saying that it is like that for everyone, but it saddens me to see how people tend to revolve around it, even in the Church! Even on Christmas afternoon, Facebook was exploding with people saying "I got ______" or "Santa brought me _____" What I am saying is that I think we get in the habit of waking up, reading Luke 2, and then *WHAM!* let the attack of the tree begin! We say we keep Jesus the center, but we don't.

So.. Think about it. What can you do next Christmas to maybe rearrange your thinking process a bit? What can you give away, rather than take in? What ultimately, can you do so that others can see what it really is about?