T-14 Days

The end is IN SIGHT! 14 days from now I will be leaving campus. Before that, I have a final written exam in all of my classes (5 of those being Mon-Thurs next week), three papers to turn in, one PowerPoint to do, one group presentation to give, one Orthopedics/Therapeutic Modalities practical, one Neurology practical, one Massage practical, and one honors banquet to attend. Plus, I'm going home next weekend for 3 days (cannot wait). Needless to say, my view today has been the inside of the library... And the inside of a Cadbury Mini-Egg bag =D

When that's done? I'm not done, done. I'm just done with classes. I go to a large hospital about an hour and a half from my home for a 5 week/200 hour clinical. During which I have to compile and write a case study and study for the NPTAE (National Physical Therapist Assistant Exam). When that one is over, I go to a town which is two hours east-ish of my home, and do a clinical there for 5 weeks/200 hours, during which I'm expected to study 2-3 hours a day for the NPTAE, 6 days a week. That's the clinical where we are expected to be entry-level in all that we do, because it's the last thing we do before we are turned loose!

The end of June, I will travel back up to school for a 3 day seminar. We'll make sure we all have our paperwork in, and attend a two day prep course for the NPTAE. Two weeks later, I will take the dreaded NPTAE.

After that? I'm going on vacation with my family. And sleeping. And going on a really long bike ride. And reading something that I am not required to or assigned to read.

It's crunch time. I have three more months to stay healthy, in shape, and on the top of my game physically and mentally, and the insanity starts on Monday (which is why I'm eating the Cadbury eggs now!).

The idea of being done with school and starting work in the real world is a little intimidating. And honestly? I'm going to miss the friends I've made in my program and on campus. When you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and then some with people, you get to know them!

But in a mere three months, I will have completed my goal of earning my degree. The license will follow shortly behind, and my current Mission will be completed, because of the strength given to me by my Master (God) since August... "I remain confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (I will) Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." (Psalms 27:13-14) I can't wait to see where He takes me next =)

Remember

How many things does it take in one week to bring you back down to earth? After being home for a week, I wasn't exactly in the "school" mood when I got back to school. After my car breaking on the drive back up, a first day back consisting of almost entirely lecture (one room, 8 hours. No thank you!), getting 4 ridiculously high medical bills, and then finding out my insurance thinks I have some mysterious pre-existing condition and won't pay anything until I prove I don't? It was quite the week. I was looking forward to a weekend of relaxing (as much as one can with a decent amount of homework)... I drove out to a local park this afternoon to study in the sun (80 degrees in the UP. In March!), and my car broke again. At that point my attitude was "Are you kidding me?!"

It's not a huge problem (I don't think), and I will be able to get it fixed (I think). As I was sitting in the park, I was struck with the realization of how beautiful this place is that I have been able to go to school. The canal is still frozen over, and I tormented the seagulls by throwing my apple core onto the ice, followed by my orange peels.. I did complete *some* studying, but I mostly sat there and thought about the last 8 months, and the next 4. About everything I have completed, and everything I have yet to complete. About how blessed I have been by my family and friends. About how well Mom prepared me to come here and learn. About my previous classes and how well they prepared me for what I am now facing. About how God has brought so many little things into my life this week that were encouragements to me.

As I sat there watching all the little kids running around with their parents, I remembered that *that* is my passion. Seeing the little girls in their skirts, leggings, baseball caps, and sunglasses (seriously, one of the cutest outfit combos I have seen), it was almost as if He was reminding me why He has me here. Not only here as in school, so I can learn to work with (pediatric) patients... But also here as in on this earth as a whole. A broken car, medical bill, or stubborn insurance company won't hinder the desires He has given me. A lousy attitude, however, could.

He is giving me opportunities to trust Him and surrender these little things to Him. He is giving me the chance to learn to take a deep breath and step back. To do everything that I can do with all that I have in me.

In Exodus, God led the Isrealites out of captivity, but while He did that, He greatly worked on Moses' character. When Moses found the burning bush, and then realized what it was that God wanted him to do, he went "uh, hey God? This is great and all... But I don't do this speaking thing so swell... How about you find someone else?" God basically gave him a reality check. "Hey Moses? Who do you think made you? That'd be Me. And I want you to do this."

Moses was almost as stubborn as Pharaoh was in regards to doing what it was that God wanted. He dragged his feet. He let the Israelites push Him back into a state of mistrust when their workload was doubled by Pharaoh, and he went back to God to question Him.

What I love about all of this? God knew Pharaoh wasn't going to let His people go right away. He knew that Pharaoh wouldn't permit them to go, "except under compulsion" (Exodus 3:19) and He told this to Moses. He also told Moses that He was going to "harden his (Pharaoh's) heart so that he will not let the people go." (Exodus 4:21).

Moses knew he had a hard road ahead of him from the very beginning. He knew it wasn't going to be an easy task, but he also knew that God would be with him (Exodus 3:12). God was testing and growing Moses, from the very beginning. Every time that God brought something new to Moses, it was an opportunity for Moses to remember Who God was. That He was the God who brought them out of Egypt. That He was a God who remembered and kept His covenants. It was a learning experience for Moses almost more than anyone else! God had to get Moses ready to be able to lead His people on their upcoming journey.. Which means Moses needed to trust Him based off of previous experiences and God's word.

He does the same with us. He allows us to go through certain things, and He even knows ahead of time that they will happen. Whether it is something catastrophic or minor, it is a chance for us to remember Who He is and all that He has done for us. It's a chance for us to remember that He remembers us, and will keep His covenants. We just need to trust, obey, and remember.

Oh give thanks to the Lord,

call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples.

Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;

Speak of all His wonders.

Glory in His holy name;

Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

Seek the Lord and His strength;

Seek His face continually.

Remember His wonderful deeds which He has done,

His marvels and the judgments from His mouth,

O seed of Israel His servant,

Sons of Jacob, His chosen ones!

He is the Lord our God;

His judgments are in all the earth.

Remember His covenant forever,

The word which He commanded to a thousand generations,

The covenant which He made with Abraham,

And His oath to Isaac.

(1 Chronicles 16:8-15)

Under His Hand

This morning was a lazy morning. After a week of multiple midterm exams and practicals, lots of caffeine, late nights, and getting up with just enough time to throw on jeans and a hoodie before class... I needed some definite recharge time. I was able to get myself 10ish hours of sound, sound sleep (which doesn't happen often in a dorm), and woke up slowly. Once I had rubbed some of the sleep from my eyes, I un-huddled from my pile of blankets and grabbed my Bible and journal from the foot of my bed, and then huddled back in the corner with some blankets for good measure (in my opinion, the more blankets, the better). There I stayed for a good two hours, reading and praying, writing and thinking.

I've been working my way through 1 Peter slowly. I honestly don't even remember when I started it, because I was taking it one slow chunk at a time, working through it until I felt that I understood it. Finishing it off this morning, I was on a section that I had actually memorized last school year. I had to keep myself from rushing through it because I already "knew" it, and as I came to 1 Peter 5:5-11, I read it with the painstaking pace of a first grader.

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves to humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring loin, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:5-11)

There is a lot packed into this passage.. This time though, I noticed something that I had never really thought of before. We are told to humble ourselves under His mighty hand, while casting all of our anxieties on Him. If you have an anxiety, chances are you are worried about something. The thought that He kept pounding into my head while I was working through this was "if you are humbling yourself to Me, how can you worry about ____?" You can not show humility towards Him, and still worry about money, grades, future plans, or whether or not your car will start.

When I worry about something, spending hours of my time thinking about it, I am telling Him that I don't think that He is big enough to work it for His glory and my best interest (which is His glory). I am telling Him that I can somehow fix it or come up with an alternative to whatever He is doing. Because of course, my way is faster, easier, and less painful.

My way doesn't show humility. It shows pride. It shows that I don't completely trust Him to care for me.. Because it says right there that He cares for me. He cares for me, and gives Grace to those who are humble. The proud however, He is opposed to.

It was a good morning.. I spent a lot of time talking to Him about what I was worrying about. What I was holding onto, even if I didn't really realize it. I asked Him to show me what it was that was keeping myself from humbling myself under His hand... Because safe under His hand is where I want to be.

Live Like You're Dying

God has promised forgiveness to your repentance, 
but He has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination. 
- Saint Augustine 

One of my classes this week has been discussing death and dying. We were asked to choose, of the following seven options, which way we would rather die and which way we would least want to die...

Heart attack

Cancer

Kidney failure

Car accident

Murder

Suicide

AIDs

I have to admit, I was surprised when many of my class chose cancer or kidney failure as their preferred choice. Why? Because it would give them time to make things right, to spend time with their family, and to do the things they wish they had always done. Their least chosen method (ignoring suicide, because we all agreed that was a lousy option) was something like a heart attack, because it would be too traumatic and there wouldn't be any time to say goodbye.


When my classmates asked me why I chose something quicker (heart attack) over something slow, my answer was simple... If I live each day like it is my last, cherishing my time and making the most of everything, why would I need the time to "take care of things"?


We know not the day or the hour that He will return. I don't know when He will chose to take me. If I am in a situation where my relationship with someone is not what it should be, I need to address it now.. Talking with one person in more depth about it later, I realized that if I am truly glorifying Him in the way that I live, grudges, prolonged anger (unrighteous anger), dishonesty, and pride in my relationships are unacceptable. I never know what is going to happen, to them or to me.


I heard the quote on the top on the radio tonight... If I am harboring an angry attitude, a hurt attitude, or a haughty attitude, and I bring it to Him and repent (which means to turn from it...), He promises forgiveness... But He has not promised me tomorrow. He has told me to not worry about tomorrow, but to stay here. Today. Now. Tonight. Right here. Which means taking care of the angry, hurt, and haughty attitudes now. 


What do you need to deal with? If someone close to you was to die tonight, would you be at peace about your relationship with them? Would you be able to say that you did everything possible to Love them the way that Christ Loves you? A sinner? Likewise, if you died tonight, would they know that you represented Him in all of your actions? Would they know that you strove to Love them like He first Loved you? Would they know Him because of you? Or would they harbor hurt and uncertainty towards Him because of you?


It's a sobering thing to think about... As Christians, we should not fear death. But leaving people behind that think that following Him leads to skewed priorities and grudge-harboring, to the point they might turn from Him? That is the opposite of glorifying Him... And that, is heartbreaking. Don't wait. It's not worth it. 


Instead? Be ready, so that when that day does come (because it will), He can look you in the eyes and say; Well done, my Good and Faithful servant (Matthew 25:21).

V-day

Today was not the expected Valentine's Day... But I am so thankful for the opportunity to see how many people care for me. The people who call/text to see how I'm feeling. Who follow me through dr appointments. Who take me to Walmart to buy what I need. Who show generosity through a simple card. Who make me laugh when I'm trying to find the right decongestant. Who ask how I'm doing in class. The person who gave all the girls in my program a carnation. Who show incredibly patience at my indecision with powerade. My Valentine from God. Which came at perfect timing. The roommate who took care of my rose from God while I was gone, so it wouldn't die...

It doesn't take a big act to show someone that you care. It doesn't take a heroic, loud, or surprising act. It can be as simple as taking your friend to the ED and sitting and waiting for her, never complaining. It can be texting someone, to see how they are and letting them know you're praying. It can be a note to your daughter, letting her know you're thinking of her. It can be talking to your daughter, making her laugh when she feels so lousy. It can be putting together an assortment of treats to show your best friend that you pay attention to the little things. It can be a FaceTime chat to talk before homework commences.

Just showing someone that you *know* them, and care? Priceless. The people who pay attention to the little things.. Those are the people who make Valentine's day, and every other day out there, special =)

S.W.A.K.

Sealed: (1) guarantee of authenticity, (2) guarantee of protection.

S.W.A.K: Sealed With A Kiss. The phrase that I used to stick on the back of all the envelopes I sent to my girlfriends around the age of 9 or 10. We thought it was cute and funny, and the guys thought it was gross. How much better can it be? Thankfully, as I grew older, guys became less fun to disgust and more fun to be friends with.

Now, in college, I am surrounded by the people who live in a way that I have chosen not to. Not because I am better than they are, because I'm not, but because I have God-given strength to follow in the path that He has set for me. I view myself as a gift, rather than as something I am trying to sell. Rather than sell myself, I am content to view myself as God does. Precious. His child.

In a dorm lifestyle, being single is rare and being pure is even more rare. Recently, one of my classmates displayed an incredible amount of shock when she found out that I had never kissed anyone. She gave the normal reaction of "WHAT?! How will you *know* if you don't kiss him??" I told her that I had decided long ago that my first kiss would be for no one but the man I marry. 

To seal something is to show that it is authentic. Whether it is a seal on a diploma or a seal on a letter, the seal shows the authenticity of the person who gives it. It also shows that the thing receiving the seal is protected. A wax seal used to be used on letters, so when the recipient received it, they would know by the quality of the seal whether or not the information inside the letter had been tampered with.

This is why I save my kiss. I save my kiss, and myself, because I want the man that I give it to to know that I am not only authentic, but that I have been protected. I haven't been tampered with or 'opened.' When he receives that kiss, he receives everything, including the duty of guaranteeing that I stay protected, and our relationship stays authentic. 

This isn't something that I am doing by my own strength. Honestly, by my own strength, I couldn't. It is something that I can do because I have already been sealed once.

"In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, 

the gospel of your salvation - having also believed, 

you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise,"

(Ephesians 1:13)

I have been given the seal of Christ, which comes with the strength from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit doesn't 'make' me do the right thing, but He does lead me. All I have to do is choose to follow His leading, believing His promises are true. 

If you're a young woman reading this, I would encourage you to ask God how He views you this Valentines Day. Ask Him to show you how precious He thinks you are, so that you might follow His voice as He shows you how to protect yourself and keep that seal in place. I can promise you that it will not be easy, but I can also promise you that He will also bless you for your obedience and willingness to listen to His voice. 

If you're a young man, please, do not open that seal unless you have every right to. Don't put the young woman in your life in a situation where she might have to push you away. Rather, view her as a gift, and one that is to stay fully sealed until the man that God chooses is able to open it. She will respect you for this, much more than she will if you attempt to take what isn't yours to take. 

If you are spending this Valentines single, take the opportunity to let Him speak to your heart. Ask Him to show you where He wants your heart to be, and ask Him to give you the strength that you need to protect it until the time for Love comes. He is faithful, and He will help you. He has already given you His seal of authenticity and protection as His child, and He will never break it.

Obey

I had every intention of writing out a huge, long, wordy post this weekend.

Alas, a recurring sinus infection has made it so that I am a dizzy, tired, achy, and uncomfortable to say the least.

I have spent my day with nasal sprays, high amounts of liquids, and having the least amount of lights in my room on as possible. Which is a bummer, because it was actually beautiful outside today.

My continual thought for this week has been this...

My Love for God is measured by my obedience to Him. I cannot obey Him if I do not know Him. And I cannot know Him if I do not spend time in His Word.

I asked Him to give me a hunger for Himself and He responded. He has shown me more in these past two weeks than I almost cared to know. He dug at the tiny things that I thought weren't important, until He loosened them out of my grip. It wasn't pleasant. It hurt. But when He was done, and when I let go? I felt a sense of relief, and I knew that I had pleased Him.

Thankfully, He hasn't asked me to surrender decongestants, antibiotics, or saline nasal spray ;-).

Love the Lord, all His faithful people!

The Lord preserves those who are true to Him,

but the proud He pays back in full.

Be strong and take heart,

all you who hope in the Lord.

(Psalms 31:23-24)