Strong

This song has been my source of encouragement over the past two weeks. I first heard it while still at school, in the middle of what I would a sheer test of my will.. No sleep, multiple exams, practicals, and still trying to function as a human.

Then I come home for 4 days before I start my clinical, which scares me to death. This clinical includes staying with an awesome couple, getting up at 5:30 in the morning, driving almost an hour away, staying there all day, and driving back to eat dinner and do whatever I need to do before collapsing into bed.

Amid this, I'm trying to stay connected with my family, my closest friends, and my friends from college.

Some days I don't feel at all strong enough to balance everything. I'm a 19-year old college student, what business do I have pushing myself to these limits? Why am I trying to juggle the various relationships, school assignments, and life in general? Why do I push myself to my mental limit, studying for 4 exams *at the same time* (I don't recommend that, for the record)? Why do I physically stretch myself out, pulling long days, short nights, and barely getting time for meals? Why do I try to keep in the loop with my family and know what is going on with who, and when?

I fought with the why, and then I realized I know the answer...

Because I know I am where He wants me.

For now, this is what He has given me. And He does not give us more than we can handle! Whether it is a temptation, a task, a job, clinical, or a relationship, He gives us exactly what we need to get through it; we just have to know where to look to get what we need.

He is what we/I need. Without Him, I wouldn't have survived the last week at school or this past week here at home. I think we get mislead by the idea that we are only weak when we face a great challenge, like Job did when his family was taken from him and he was left with a nagging wife and lousy friends. In reality, we are weak each day that we live unless we ask Him to walk with us and give us the strength that we need. Without Him, we are not strong enough to live as He has called us to. We cannot do it without Him.

The bridge to this song is the part that has been especially stuck in my head.

I can do all things, 

through Christ who gives me strength,

I don't have to be strong enough, 

strong enough

I, Hannah, do not have to be strong enough. Instead, I have to be broken enough to ask Him to be my Rock and my Fortress. I have to know that without Him I cannot face the things that He gives me. The things He brings into my life bring me the sweet joy of knowing that He is asking me to continually trust Him to be my Strength and my Shield.

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;

Therefore my heart exults,

And with my song I shall thank Him.

(Psalms 28:7)

My song is my life. The way that I live my life through His strength is the way that I thank Him.