Saturday, February 26, 2011


My life the past 10 days has been overcome with Vicodin, sleep, Go-Gurt, pudding, and ice cream. All benefits of having 4 impacted wisdom teeth carved out of my head. The benefit to that time was that I was too out of it to do much studying, and I had scrambled to accomplish most of what was due the next week before the surgery. That left me with all weekend, my notebook, and my Bible.

I love my Bible, and I'm not saying that lightly. I have had it for almost exactly a year, when my parents gave it to me on my 18th birthday. (I kept taking Dad's because I liked the version better than what I had, and the cross-reference numbers are great!!)

I am not one of those people who uses my iPhone as my Bible. Sure, I'll do it in a pinch, but it bugs me to see people doing it in Church, or when I hear of them doing all of their quiet times and devotions off their mechanical device... There is something about having the burgundy, leather-bound, gold-plated book in my hands. It's heavy - it practically weighs as much as I do ;). It has a distinct smell. It's pages crinkle easy...

But it's mine. My Love Letter from my Savior. It is full of highlights, pencil markings, underlines, notes, and dates. In it is everything I could ever imagine about Him. When I read it, I am overwhelmed by His glory and power. I literally cannot fathom His might or His Love.

"The Lord is great, and greatly to be praised,
He is to be feared above all gods.
Splendor and Majesty are before Him,
Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary"
(Psalms 96:4,6)

It blows my mind that He put the Bible together so that we can spend time with Him, learning of His attributes, His personality, His anger, His might, His jealousy, and His overwhelming Love for us. We can seek His guidance, know His will, and learn what is expected of us as His children. In and of itself, the Bible is an example of His Love. If we take the time to read it, ponder it, and search it for what it holds, treating it like the treasure it is, we will not be disappointed.

Having the Bible on my phone is handy when I'm on lunch break and I want to review whatever I'm memorizing. But when I'm seriously spending time with Him, nothing beats having a tangible copy of His Love in my hands. This allows me to spend an unlimited amount of time with Him... without having to worry about running out of battery ;).

Sunday, February 13, 2011


Roses, chocolate, mushy cards, kisses, hugs, hearts, pink, red... Every February 14th it rolls around once again. And those of us without a significant other usually end up down in the dumps, depressed and/or sickened by the displays of love around us.

I have to admit it surprises me every year how many people I know (specifically the girls) want to skip over tomorrow as if it never existed. Simply because they don't have a guy, and label themselves as 'single'. A couple years ago, I was in the same crowd. I was more focused on myself than being happy for those who are in (hopefully) healthy, strong, and Godly relationships (I'm ignoring the fast-track shallow relationships for now). I was more focused on my immediate wants then what God had in mind for my love life (or lack thereof). I think it's pretty safe to say that every girl goes through that stage. Some stay stuck in it, and some recognize they are being selfish.

Thankfully, He showed me I was being a selfish brat. Not only towards those around me who were happy, but also towards the man He has for me.

"The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil,
All the days of her life."
(Proverbs 31:11-12)

Notice that it doesn't say "All the days after they meet" or "All the days after she says 'I do'." It's all the days of her (my) life. This verse completely rearranged my mindset... Being single isn't a time to goof off and mess around. It's a time to earn his trust, to grow spiritually, to love him, to be faithful to him, and mature to be a woman worthy of being his wife.

That's why I don't dread Valentines day anymore. Honestly, it's exciting! I have seen the way God has woven together the love stories of the people around me, and it excites me. It makes me eager to see what He has in plan for me. The day has become a reminder to pray for the man He has for me, and motivation to continue to trust in God's timing. Yes, some days it is hard. But the good days outweigh the hard days.

So yes, by the worlds standards, I will spend this February 14th "Valentine-less." But I really won't.. =) I have a Dad who loves me and cares for me and an amazing God who has my heart in His hands. And for this Valentine's day at least, that is the way it is supposed to be.

Friday, February 4, 2011


For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope;
For why does one also hope for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see,
with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
(Romans 8:24, 25)

Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement
grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus;
That with one accord you may with one voice
glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(Romans 15:5-7)

I read these verses two days after spending way too much time worrying. I really like Francis Chan's definition of worry... (which I also read this week).

"worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."

I was also stressing...

"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our right grip of control."

What was I stressing about? Life. College, mainly. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to find out if I have been accepted into the PTA program I applied to last year. Honestly, I'm as impatient sometimes as I can be stubborn. I don't enjoy waiting! I knew the letter telling me the verdict was supposed to come sometime in February, but I was already anxiously awaiting it about halfway through January. It's hard not to think about something like that!

When I read the verses above on Thursday morning, I realized something.
I realized that I was NOT glorifying God with my worrying and stressing over a silly piece of paper. God gives us perseverance through His word and His Spirit, and quite honestly, I had hit the point where I wasn't allowing Him to give that perseverance. I wasn't even hoping for the letter, I was worried. Worried that I might not be good enough, smart enough, or whatever else the board making the decision was looking for.

I spent much time praying that morning... Apologizing, really. Apologizing for not trusting Him and allowing Him to give me encouragement and perseverance. Apologizing for stressing. Apologizing for worrying. After I finished that, I thanked Him for showing me that and told Him that I would wait hopefully until He showed me the plan He has in store for me.

That day at work, I didn't worry about it once. I even spent twenty minutes talking with a co-worker about the program, the expectations, and how I didn't know exactly when I would know if I got in or not. No worries, I felt completely calm about it all. And as I ate lunch, I once again thanked God for His timing.

Fast forward to that night when I get home...

I'm back in my room... Putting all my stuff away from the day and changing into comfy clothes (forget the khakis and dress shirt!). This is also the first day in the last couple weeks that I wasn't disappointed to see that there wasn't a letter waiting for me on my bed (where my mail is normally put, so I actually get it!).

Mom calls me out to the living room.

She has an envelope.

From Finlandia University.

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a second.

She had me sit next to her, and we opened it together...

I cried.
Mom and I sat there and prayed, thanking God for His provision and how He has worked so mightily in my life this past year... And I cried again(And then in typical college student style, I went and made my phone calls telling everyone and made it "Facebook Official.";-]).

ONE day. That's all it took... It really does floor me when I think that I had honestly surrendered it that morning for the first time, and then I got the letter when I got home roughly twelve hours after I told Him it was all His, and I was done spazzing over it.

Needless to say, I am excited! Not just because I got in the program, but because I have once again seen first-hand how amazing my God is. How much He Loves me. And how my ways are not His ways, which is why I have got to let Him do what He is going to do, in His time. I know 12 hours is probably a record of some sort for a quick reply on His end. Sometimes He asks us to wait for months, days, or even years.. Patiently, giving Him the glory He deserves.

One last picture... This will go in the mail tomorrow, officially holding my spot in the program =).

(I am sorry these are blurry... Blame my iPhone!)