Tutti-Frutti Tango

Can you say heaven-on-earth? I'm pretty sure that's what we girls experienced today... For Christmas, Mom treated us to a pedicure or manicure at a local salon, based on how ticklish our feet were! (ok, not quite, but that is why I received a manicure. I don't think whoever was doing my feet would want a broken nose...)

I'm not normally one for incredibly girly-girl activities. Haircuts, I love, I will admit that, but usually my style is more laid back and subtle. That said, I think Mom created a monster today ;-). I could get *very* used to the pampering we received! We were all giggles and grins picking our colors out, and the ladies there made the comment that they could tell who was oldest/middle/baby by the colors we picked. Mine being a more light and airy pink (as was Mom's), Rachie's was a bright purple/pink fuchsia, and Shorty went for a deep blue with some added "pizzazz"!

I don't think we will soon forget this first spa day together... Shorty has decided that it must become a ritual among us, and I whole-heatedly agree! It was definitely a day to remember =)

(I love this girl!!)

=)

(manicure girls)

(the nicest my nails have *ever* looked)

(pedicure girl)

(Mom soaks this stuff up!)

Earthly Face

"To Love another person is to see the face of God" 

~Jean Valjean (Les Miserables)

When you Love someone that you don't want to Love... You can not only see Him work in them, but He will also work in you, too. He is too holy for us to be able to look upon His actual face while we are here on this earth, and this is one of the ways that He has chosen to show Himself to us.

Un-American Love

"I was lucky. My marriage was a love marriage. My brother, his was an arranged marriage."

I heard this today from someone from India and got thinking... In America, our marriages now are almost always never arranged... But how many of them are "love-marriages"?

With marriage option #1, she explained that you have two people who have possibly never met. They are married because it is socially pleasing and acceptable. The families arrange it, and in India it is usually arranged within a certain community of beliefs.

In marriage option #2 you have two people who say they care about each other so much that they want to spend the rest of their life together. They would do anything for each other. They can't imagine life without each other. They live together forever... Right?

In America we don't see #1 very often.

But I dare say we also don't see #2 very often, either.

Marriages don't last. In America, 41% of first marriages end in divorce. In India? 1.1% of first marriages end in divorce. The numbers I saw said that 90-95% of marriages in India are still arranged. And the marriages in India last longer...

Why?

Because I don't think the American people know what Love truly is. American love has become short lived, easy, shallow, surface-based, uncommitted, artificial, and self-serving. It's like fast food. You want what you want, when you want it, and when you're done with it, you throw it away.

What is Love?

Love is patient. 

(I will not get huffy and puffy with you when you do something that I don't like. I will think before I speak.)

Love is kind. 

(Even when I don't want to be. Even if you don't deserve it.)

Love is not jealous.

(I won't hold past things over your head. I won't become a green monster.)

Love does not brag. 

(I will not boast about the things I have done, what you have not done, and I will not guilt you because of it.)

Love is not arrogant. 

(I will be humble)

Love does not act unbecomingly. 

(I will act like His Child... at all times.)

Love does not seek it's own. 

(I will strive to serve you 101%, even if it means putting your needs and wants above my own)

Love is not provoked. 

(even when you leave dirty dishes on the counter or say something hurtful)

Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. 

(I won't hold grudges, I will FORGIVE)

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. 

(I won't wish on you that you get what is coming to you)

Love rejoices with the truth. 

(even if you are delivering it, and it hurts)

Love bears all things. 

(every thing. dirty laundry. puking children. sick spouses. honey-do lists. sickness)

Love believes all things. 

(I will believe what you have told me and what He has promised)

Love hopes all things. 

(I will keep my ultimate Hope in Him)

Love endures all things. 

(all things... every thing. There is nothing that this does not include)

If this is what we meant when we said we we had a "love-marriage"... I don't think our divorce rate would be as high as it is. If you are in a relationship, are you seeking a Love relationship? Are you willing to make that commitment? To Love no matter what the circumstances are? To make it work, even when it is hard?
If you say "I Love you" to anyone... You had better also mean all of the above to really mean it. Otherwise? It doesn't count. It won't last. It will get hard and you'll become another one of the 41% in America that drops out when it gets hard.

I dare you... Love the un-American way.

One-sided

How many of us are guilty of cracking open our Bibles and looking for God to "tell us something"? How many times do we sit down and hope that He will encourage us with something through His Word? How often do you shuffle through the pages until you find just the right verse for what you're going through?

Often maybe?

Yeah, me too.

I realized last week that I need to get out of the habit of asking Him to speak to or encourage me every time that I open my Bible. Yes, it would be amazing if He would. I think though, that I have begun to lose sight of reading it and searching through it so that I might know more about Him, Who He is, what He does, and how He interacts with those He loves. It had become all about me, me, me... And less about Him, unless He was showing me what I wanted Him to show me. 

It's a selfish view I think, to expect Him to show me something every time. He has done this many times for me, where I will read a verse that is encouraging or convicting. But the purpose of my time with His word is to spend time with Him.

You don't go and meet with a friend just to have them tell you how wonderful you are, how awful you are, or how much you need to change this or that. I mean, you could... But to me that's a wonderful representation of a lousy friendship. In order for there to be a relationship you have to put forth the effort to learn about the other person. In the courtship I'm in right now, we are both learning an incredible amount about each other. If I monopolized all of the conversation, we would get nowhere other than him knowing that I could talk a lot (which granted, I can, and he already knows that). Likewise, if I needed him to constantly affirm me and/or challenge me and I never took the time to sit and learn about him... What is the point of the relationship?

I realized it's the same way with my Heavenly Daddy.

I need to learn about Him. To seek Him out and learn His character. What makes Him happy. What fills Him with joy. What makes Him (righteously) angry. I am here because He created me to worship, honor, and glorify Him. I can't do that to the best of my ability unless I know who He is.

My new challenge each day as I sit down with Him is to ask Him to show me Who He is. If He shows me something that is encouraging through the way, awesome. But for now? It is more about Him and less about me. 

Strong

This song has been my source of encouragement over the past two weeks. I first heard it while still at school, in the middle of what I would a sheer test of my will.. No sleep, multiple exams, practicals, and still trying to function as a human.

Then I come home for 4 days before I start my clinical, which scares me to death. This clinical includes staying with an awesome couple, getting up at 5:30 in the morning, driving almost an hour away, staying there all day, and driving back to eat dinner and do whatever I need to do before collapsing into bed.

Amid this, I'm trying to stay connected with my family, my closest friends, and my friends from college.

Some days I don't feel at all strong enough to balance everything. I'm a 19-year old college student, what business do I have pushing myself to these limits? Why am I trying to juggle the various relationships, school assignments, and life in general? Why do I push myself to my mental limit, studying for 4 exams *at the same time* (I don't recommend that, for the record)? Why do I physically stretch myself out, pulling long days, short nights, and barely getting time for meals? Why do I try to keep in the loop with my family and know what is going on with who, and when?

I fought with the why, and then I realized I know the answer...

Because I know I am where He wants me.

For now, this is what He has given me. And He does not give us more than we can handle! Whether it is a temptation, a task, a job, clinical, or a relationship, He gives us exactly what we need to get through it; we just have to know where to look to get what we need.

He is what we/I need. Without Him, I wouldn't have survived the last week at school or this past week here at home. I think we get mislead by the idea that we are only weak when we face a great challenge, like Job did when his family was taken from him and he was left with a nagging wife and lousy friends. In reality, we are weak each day that we live unless we ask Him to walk with us and give us the strength that we need. Without Him, we are not strong enough to live as He has called us to. We cannot do it without Him.

The bridge to this song is the part that has been especially stuck in my head.

I can do all things, 

through Christ who gives me strength,

I don't have to be strong enough, 

strong enough

I, Hannah, do not have to be strong enough. Instead, I have to be broken enough to ask Him to be my Rock and my Fortress. I have to know that without Him I cannot face the things that He gives me. The things He brings into my life bring me the sweet joy of knowing that He is asking me to continually trust Him to be my Strength and my Shield.

The Lord is my strength and my shield;

My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;

Therefore my heart exults,

And with my song I shall thank Him.

(Psalms 28:7)

My song is my life. The way that I live my life through His strength is the way that I thank Him.

Where I Belong

All I know is I'm not home yet.

Take this world and give me Jesus.

Love Never Fails - Brandon Heath

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous.
Love does not brag and is not arrogant.
Love does not act unbecomingly.
Love does not seek it's own.
Love is not provoked.
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered.
Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things.
Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love endures all things.

Love. Never. Fails.

Bucket List?

I thought about writing out a "bucket list" last night while I was falling asleep. A compilation of all the goofy witty things that I want to do before I go to my real Home someday. As I got to thinking of it, I realized that the things that I *really* want to do are much deeper than anything you could put on a bucket list... This is my "heart's desire" list.

1. I want to work in pediatrics as a PTA. It is possible to become recognized as a 'specialist' in peds by taking continuing education courses and working with them for multiple (thousand+) hours. PT can be miserable as an adult, and to do it with children you have to be able to make it enjoyable for them. I especially would love to be able to work at a large hospital like DeVos in MI, or another children's hospital, but most of all I just want to be able to work with and love on these kids... All while helping them to live a more functional life.

2. I want to go back to Honduras... Work with the orphans. Possibly in a medical setting, or simply just to go and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I don't know that I would say I want it to be long-term. But the opportunity to go back for a couple weeks and share Him with them... I've seen it before, these kids thrive off of love and attention... I figure I have plenty to share with them. Not to mention that they. are. adorably. precious.

(doesn't he just make your heart melt?)

3. I want to marry the man of my dreams, becoming his support, his helper, and loving him for as long as God allows, through whatever we may face together. Side by side, hand in hand.

4. This has been a piece of my heart for practically forever.. I am just going to say it, so that you can take it however you want. I am not saying I am going to go get pregnant. I am completely content to wait until God brings the right time. But in my heart, I want to be a Mom. I want to bear children. I've been told I'm crazy... And I might be! But I believe God has given me that desire for a reason. I know that He doesn't give it to everyone.. I know other woman my age who have no interest in children whatsoever. In fact, pregnancy is viewed as a burden... But to me? It's one of the most magnificent, incredible things that could happen.

5. After #4 happens, I want to homeschool my children. I picked this picture because I'm hoping my little girl/boy will have curly hair like I did when I was little ;). But I want to spend time with them each and every day, raising them to Love each other, to work with each other, and most importantly, to Love God. I have no intention of working as a PTA once I am a Mom. I want to teach them how to write. How to count. I want to tell them about Daniel, David, Ruth, Esther, Jesus. I want to curl up on the couch after lunch and read with them...

6. I want to know my Bible. I figure that if I know my Bible, I will have spent many, many hours with Him. Which honestly? That is my life's amibition. To know Him and walk with Him every step of the way. Through joy.

Through gladness.

Through pain.

Through tears.

Through heartache.

Through love.

Through happiness.

Through every thing that I encounter, I want to have Him with me. I want His heart for His people to become my heart. I want His Love for His children to be my Love. I want to see others as He sees them. 

Simple, right? There are plenty of other things that I want to do. But these are the things that my heart aches for. The things I have wanted to do since I was a little girl. The desires that I believe God has given to me, to live out to His glory, honor, and praise... Step by step.

Listen

My post a couple weeks ago was about listening to what He was telling me. I spent the days after that struggling with myself. I felt like I was choking, when I didn't know what I was choking on. It took my finally coming to my end and asking Him to show me what it was that I was stuck on.

He showed me.

I said no way. Not applicable anymore.

He showed me again.

I shoved it to the back of my head. He didn't really want me to.

He showed me a third time in a different way.

I asked Him not to make me do that. I didn't want to eat that piece of humble pie.

He asked me again.

I gathered the courage and did what He wanted me to do. It. Was. Hard.

Never have I felt more worried about something that He asked me to do.. Honestly, to face something that had happened when I first started college and apologize to the people I most care about, I was terrified. I had never had to do anything like that before. I had never had to humble myself and apologize for something that I had shoved to the back of my head.

It wasn't hard because what I was apologizing for was some horrible thing. It was hard because I am a proud person and didn't want anyone to think poorly of me.

Me. Me. Me.

When I finally listened to what God was showing me, doing what He was asking me to do, He took that weight off my shoulders. When I humbled myself and did something for Him, He was with me. He took my heart that was in my throat and the butterflies in my stomach and held them.

He Loves it when we listen. He Loves it when we are willing to do the hard, the scary, the humbling, because we know that it will bring us closer to Him. Because we know that it will bring Him Glory, Honor, and Praise. It isn't easy. But believe me... It's completely, totally, 100% worth it.

$1.20

Being sick while 320 miles away from home is not a fun time.

I finally decided to go in this afternoon after not being able to breathe 1/4 of my way up the 4 flights of stairs to my classroom.. I came back up to my room (via elevator) and bundled up for the walk up to my car... Which includes another 4 flights of stairs. It is raining, pouring, and incredibly windy here, (to the point that some guys from the hockey team who originate from some foreign country decided to pull on the wet-suits and head for Lake Superior to go surfing. I'm still questioning their sanity.) as well as 44*. Fun conditions for a hike up to my car, when I already can't breathe normally.

Backing up a little bit.. I did not want to go in this afternoon, simply because I knew it wouldn't be cheap. Earlier this week I had thought about it, and once again, decided I should be able to kick this on my own, without the help of any Z-Pack related substance.

Mom called me yesterday to tell me that I had received a check in the mail from the place I worked all summer. Since I had no idea what it was, and was rather curious, I had her open it for me. $50.
Random, right? I thought so. Until she told me the memo line said "Raffle." A while back (in February, I think?), we were all given rotary club calendars at a company meeting. The receptionist took our numbers off the back and was going to watch the drawings for us. I had honestly completely forgotten all about it.

Apparently, I won.

$50.

Fast forward to this afternoon.. I finally decided that going in was worth it. I called around about my insurance and found the best (aka cheapest) place to go, and braved the monsoon to get there, which included getting slightly lost.
The NP that saw me actually knew of my hometown, and was super sweet. Though she succeeded in scaring me when she told me right off the bat that if my O2 levels were any lower than 90% I was going to be headed right to the ED. Thankfully I scored an almost perfect 99%... =P. She made the determination of bronchitis, gave me a prescription for a Z-Pack (shocker!), and the receptionist took my $30 and sent me on my way.

The clinic was actually located right there in a shopping center. I turned my prescription in and wandered around looking at random things until I ran out of breath, and then decided sitting sounded much better.
Total for 6 little pills to be taken over the next 5 days, that actually work for 10 days, according to the package?
$21.20. I've never had to pay for a prescription before and was a little sticker-shocked at this price.. but paid it and took the drugs.

Mental math that ensued after that: $30 + $21.20 = $51.20.

I think I can handle covering an extra $1.20 after God sent the other $50...

 Once again, He cares for His children and plans things out to bless us, so that when we receive the blessings we know that they came from only Him. He loves to bless His children. He loves it when we acknowledge Him. And I'm sure He was chuckling at the look on my face today when I realized those pills cost that much!

Listen

God has gotten my attention over the past 4 days.

It came first via the Bible study I am going through right now on Solomon.

"Are there areas in your life where you are not walking in complete obedience?"

Solomon had most of his life pretty well figured out. He was the one who asked for wisdom instead of money or riches or power... This pleased God, and God gave him incredible wisdom. Along with money, riches, and power. But Solomon had a problem. He had a weak spot. His wives. Yes, plural, Solomon had many, many, many wives. Enough to keep him incredibly busy.
The sheer number of wives wasn't his only problem though, the problem was that he was making political marriages and marrying women that God had commanded them not to. This led to his downfall of worshiping in pagan temples.

I had no answer to the question when I read it first.. I left it blank to come back to after thinking about it on my drive home.

Second was through a podcast I was listening to on my way home. On the most boring stretch of road on the whole trip, I really tuned into what I was hearing, because the other alternative was to zone out and fall asleep. I swear that right before the podcast started I heard Him..


"Are you listening, child?"

The Pastor was talking about the different areas of obedience and surrender to God. He started listing off all of the areas in life that Christians will or could have problems with, and encouraged the listeners to rate themselves on each topic. 0 being no problem with it ever, 10 being that you struggle with it constantly.

He started listing things off. Kindness, fairness, patience, honesty, integrity, generosity, Love, clean speech, holiness, gentleness, purity in thought... As he started going through them, I started flinching at one here, one there.

"Ok God, I get it."

"Do you really?"

I realized, I don't really "get" it.

We won't ever really "get" it.

We are not God, and can never be perfect. But we can strive to serve Him and seek after Him with our whole being, asking Him to help us in the areas where we rate only a sad 9 or 10. If we come to Him with an attitude of true repentance, without making excuses and complaining, and if we are truly sincere about our desire to change, He will help us to change. I found my answer to that question in the Solomon study. I came up with three major areas where I am in desperate need of His help to overcome my selfishness and pursue Him.

He gives us the power to overcome temptation - if we take advantage of it. I don't believe that is something we can do without thinking about it. It must be something that we actively do. A choice to pursue Him and flee from evil.... Day. By. Day.

Home =)

Sometimes a short weekend at home is the most encouraging thing you can do.

After a week with many tests and practicals, little sleep, and lots of caffeine, I packed up and headed home as soon as my last exam was done.

The drive home was absolutely gorgeous. The colors were in peak, the roads were clear, and the sun was shining. I don't recommend making that drive on 5 hours of sleep, but a Starbucks Double-Shot Vanilla something-er-other dissipated any exhaustion as soon as it hit my stomach! I had Nancy Leigh DeMoss, James MacDonald, and John MacArthur to keep me company (along with a little Laura Story and Chris Tomlin for singin' along), and I felt like I got home a lot quicker than normal.

Seeing my family, my best friend, my other best friend, his family, and my church family was a fantastic pick-me-up. Lazy mornings with the family, movie night with the family, and laying around on the couches after church with my sisters "packed tighter than a litter of puppies," according to my baby sister. Being home also renews the feeling of homesickness a bit.. But I have to say, I am astounded that the semester has gone so quickly. Now that midterms are over, I have a week and a half until "fall break" (aka, a long weekend), and then I have three and a half weeks until I move close to home for my first clinical...  

I couldn't help but praise Him all the way home, and then all the way back up here. I can honestly say I don't mind the car ride anymore, because it's 6 hours of uninterrupted time with Him. I'm looking forward to doing it again.. In TEN days!!!

He is Good

Blessings this week...

• A test thought failed actually was an A-. Shocked? I think yes.
• Meeting fellow Christian girls, ON CAMPUS!
• Finding out my last class next week is lab, and I can leave FOR HOME early next week.
• I have a place to stay for clinical #2.
• Having a church to go on the weekend that I am excited about going to. The sermon's have been incredible!
• Finding a nice, simple, formal dress for $18 (usually $90!).
• Having a job that allows me to work the hours that *I* want to, so long as I get my assigned cleaning done. 
• Having a job that pays well.
• Long letters in the mail.
• Being almost HALF done with my first semester here. (That also translates to 1/4 of my total time here!).
• Encouragement from the older women in my life.
• Time with just me and God.
• Soft pretzels.
• Hot showers.
• Pictures from my little sisters on the wall above my desk.
• The anticipation of getting to go home briefly in 7 short days =).

A good week it has been.. He has showed me much that I want to share so badly, but it has to wait until after these tests and exams and practicals are done this next week. For those of you who read this, I covet your prayers. Four practicals, five exams, two papers, and one take-home exam. In five days. It will be a fast week. Chances are I won't know what day it is half of the time ;). But He is good, and He gives the weak and the weary strength to rise up on wings like eagles!

Fall...

From the top of Sugarloaf Mountain last Saturday.

Black Rock

Headed up Sugarloaf Mountain

The view from the top of our hill.

(The building on the right is the one I practically live in!)

Daily

Delight yourself in the Lord,

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

(Psalms 37:4)

If I am daily delighting in Him, He will be my desire.

He will give me more of Himself.

Which will lead me to want even more of Him.

If I desire Him, He will be my delight.

I think that's the best never-ending cycle to get caught in.

Shorty!

My baby sister is 12 today. This is not only her last birthday before she is a teenager, this is the first birthday I have not been there to love her, hold her, laugh with her, decorate her cake, and spoil her silly with gifts.

I love this kid. Maybe it's because of the age gap. Maybe it's because I was elated to have another little sister. Maybe it's because we are so much alike. I helped her with her school, I did her hair, I gave her baths when she was a teeny tot, I dressed her, I tucked her in bed, I read her books. And now, she doesn't need all of that any more. She is growing up into a confident, beautiful young woman. She seeks after God in a way only a young person can, with a desire to know more and a simplicity in her faith...

Shorty ~ I love you. I love who you are. I love who you're becoming.. I love a lot of things about you.. 

I love how cute you are when you're excited!

I love that I used to be taller than you. 

(I have a feeling that will change soon enough!)

I love that you do crazy things with Rach and I.

 I love watching you with Mom. You love to be right next to her.

Or on her, if you can get away with it ;).

 I love how you work hard! Usually without complaining!

 I love the goofy things we say and do!

 I love making you laugh =)

 I love your crazy outfit combos. You take after Rach with that one!!

 I love that you love being outside.. Even when it's cold!

 I love how you are not afraid to try new things. 

You are brave and you keep on, even when things hurt so badly.

 I love that you love horses. I have forever, and now you love them more than me!

(Even when your horse steps on my feet. Like she did in this picture ;-)).

 Don't forget, Shorty. When you fall off... You get back on.

 I love that you look like me =).

 I love that you love to read. All the time, every time, and every thing!

 I love that you help me be my best at everything I do!

 I love how you are so beautiful.

 I love how you are magnetically attracted to anything fuzzy.

I love it when you curl up on the couch with me to "do school."

(Neither one of us ever got anything done!!!)

 I love that you still love to hold my hand!

I love that you can make me laugh!

I love you so much, Shorty. It's been a crazy 12 years. We've been through a lot together. Animals, school, my graduating from high school, Mom being sick, losing friends and animals, your broken bones, my knee surgery, my graduating from NCMC, and now me off at Narnia ;).

Know that I love you, always and forever! It's really hard being so far away. But I'll be home soon and we can celebrate then =). 

I. Love. You. MORE.

=).

Open Hands

Jesus, let me learn to live with open hands.. Free and surrendering all of me.

To let the whole world see how You've Loved me. How You died and set me free.

To let go of my earthly plans.. To stand at Your cross with open hands.

Apple Catches up.. ;)

Blogger now has an iPhone app... Finally!!! I have been waiting for this! Not with baited breath or anything, but for someone who is always on the go, this is marvelous news =)...
(except I can't type in landscape.. Shoot. I apologize for spelling mistakes and autocorrect now!)

Week 3 is almost over. I have one more skills check to get through after my classes tomorrow and then I am free!!!
To study all weekend, that is =P.

I need time to not think. Every day my release from reality is to go to the gym afterI get out of class. Before I eat, before I study, before anything to go workout. Sometimes it's 40 minutes, sometimes it's closer to an hour and a half. However long, that is my time to not study, worry, or think about classes. I either rock out the music or listen to a podcast, depending on my mood.

Every time I walk out the gym doors, I am greeted with this view..

Beautiful? I think yes.

He has given me an incredible display of His artistry!!! I can't wait to watch it as the colors change... =)

Escape

I found the advantage to being in a dorm room on the *back* of the building!!! We don't have the sun shining in our windows all day long, resulting in a room that is at least 10 degrees cooler than the people on the front of the building. =D. On days like today, that is a definite advantage. It was around 80, with a light breeze if you got down by the water... So down by the water I got!

 (My dorm building is the one that is directly above the back of the boat,

with the long gray-ish roof)

I spent almost 4 hours there under a tree.. Reading, studying, highlighting, writing, and praying. It was a break from the noise, distractions, and insanity that is ever-present in a dorm. I have discovered just how easy it is to let time for myself slide. I get caught up in the homework, the tests, the open labs, sleeping, making new friends.. I forget about me. When I got to today, I needed me time. I have never been surrounded by so many people and felt so lonely. I didn't know that was possible, honestly. I needed time where I could study without interruption, but more importantly where I could spend some time pouring myself out to Him. I got less studying done than what I intended.. And way more praying than I'd hoped for.

He is good. He has given me many blessings over the past few weeks... I am in a place where I must lean on Him daily. To get through my classes and to Love those around me. It's been a challenge. But it's forced me to depend on Him and to make time for Him every day like I would for my friends back home. I have had to choose each day to delight in Him. To rest in Him. To wait for Him. To each day, ask Him to hold my hand. It's harder some days then it is others.. Some days I want to give up, go home, and be with the people I love and care about. But He has me here. He has established my steps and will be with me through them... From here to wherever He takes me next.

Holding my Hand

My life has been more than a little busy.. But here is a break from the land of all things muscles, bones, and joints. I love these verses. No matter how many times I read through Psalms, I always, always find something new!

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,

And He delights in his way.

When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,

Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.

Psalms 37:23, 24

He established my steps.
He delights in my way.
When (not if) I fall, I won't be hurled headlong into space..
Because He is holding my hand.


I rather like that mental picture.. =).

"Veggie"Tales

Meet Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber, hosts of the best show ever, VeggieTales.

I knew that tomatoes were fruits. They have seeds. I have known that for quite some time.

I didn't know until this week that cucumbers are also fruits. I guess I never actually put two and two together. One of my floor-mates and I had a long drawn out debate about it... Turns out, I was wrong. They actually are fruits. As are peppers, peas, squash, zucchini, pumpkins, and olives.

So yeah, that vegetable medley we have almost every night in the cafeteria? It's actually steamed fruit salad.

College life.

Things I have learned in the past 4 days..

1. If your door is not locked, people will walk through it.
2. If you want people to knock, keep your door locked.
3. Bedtime does not exist anymore. You go to bed when you want to.
4. Eating three meals a day at a set time messes with your metabolism.
5. Eating dinner at 4:30 is way too early.
6. There will always be another set of stairs to go up.
7. College kids truly do get excited about cartoons and coloring.
8. BINGO is an acceptable activity.
9. Movie night doesn't mean Finding Nemo anymore.
10. Plugged In is incredibly handy for searching the movies they intend to show at movie night.
11. Cafeteria workers appreciate a smile and a "thank you."
12. Personal space doesn't really exist.
13. Your keys to your dorm are your most valuable possession and should be kept with you at all times.
14. Because of #13, lanyards are your second most valuable possession. It is acceptable to wear them as a necklace.
15. As long as you have some form of top and bottom on, any clothing goes.
16. You can distinguish the volleyball players from the rest, because of #15.
17. Hulu and Pandora are two of the best boredom beaters out there.
18. Wearing flip flops on this particular campus is not the wisest idea due to excessive hills.
19. It's best not to ask what kind of meat you're eating if you can't figure it out yourself.
20. Your legs will get sore after ascending and descending the 4 flights of stairs in the dorm multiple times a day.
21. If you missed what someone said, it's probably better to not ask.
22. Dad was right... Common sense really isn't common anymore.
23. Time you have to yourself is valuable, use it wisely.
24. Being on the "quiet floor" means that you don't have people above you. Just below and to each side.
25. Just because you're 19 and in college doesn't mean you can't enjoy the most incredible playground ever.

College...

I still feel like I'm at summer camp. Granted, I've only spent two nights in my dorm room. But... When you have probably about 100 mostly freshman students going crazy with their new found freedom, it's hard to grasp that I am actually here for school. And that I'm going to be here for the next 12-13 weeks.. That definitely hasn't sunk in.

Being a transfer student, I don't have to attend the mandatory UNS (student success) class that 95% of the other people who are here do... SCORE!!!! This is going to give me a lot of time this week to hang out in my room, listening to podcasts and reading.

I would go explore the town like I want to so badly, but my car is unfortunately sitting on the side of a city street, dead. Stupid fuel pump. Hopefully I'll have that back to normal by the weekend though, so that I can go see the sights and hit up Walmart on the other side of the river.

I'm honestly psyched for my classes to get under way. In less then a year I will be a licensed PTA.. It's a little intimidating, but I cannot wait to get into the swing of the semester! My books look like a lot of fun (most of them), and I've met a couple other students who are in the program.

For now though, I'm content to enjoy the view from my dorm building and adjust to everything. My room, unfortunately has an incredible view of the gym parking lot =P. The other side of the dorm though, where our rec room is, has a one of a kind view across the water towards Houghton. I think I found my new devotion spot.. It'll be quiet there at 6 AM ;-).

Today

Today, I am thankful for my Daddy who stayed up until 1 AM talking with me. I am thankful for a man who Loves God, Loves his family, and is now tired because he knew I needed to talk.

I am thankful for a Mom who walks out into the living room to find out why neither of us have come to bed yet (this is the same Mom who left a box of Lucky Charms on my bed =D). For a Mom who greets me with a hug this morning...

I love my parents. I am going to miss them both immensely. This growing up thing is bittersweet. Some days it is sweet. Some days it is bitter. Today it is both.

*gulp*

Until this week I never thought it would be possible to be excited and scared all at once.. I am not a person who enjoys new situations. I could live in one place the rest of my life (with the occasional vacation to Colorado, Florida, and maybe Israel) and be content with that. Yet in four short days, I move 6 and a half hours away from home for school...

God is stretching me in ways I didn't necessarily want to be stretched.

I don't want to move. I don't want to leave my family. I don't want to be so far away from my friends... But I am.

Why? Because I really, honestly, truly believe that is where God is leading me. For some reason, He wants me on the northern edge of the U.P. for the next year (give or take). For some reason, He wants me to be (completely) out of my comfort zone. He knows I will have to lean completely on Him, because I won't know where else to lean. I will have to learn to trust Him in an uncomfortable situation. I will have to learn to put Him first above everything else, without my parents right here to help keep me on track.

This blog is about to take a turn as I sort through life on my own... As I learn to continue letting Him write my story, living it so that those around me can see. I am being given an opportunity to start anew.. New friends, new teachers, new chances to shine Him. And that, is the exciting part =)

One Daisy

Have you ever felt like one of these daisies? Just one of a thousand? One that no one else sees? One that gets looked over for someone who is bigger, better, brighter, whiter, more pollinated, taller, and perfect? No one sees you, because you blend in. You try to achieve the standards that everyone around you tells you that you should achieve.. And as a result, you only blend in more. People look at you and well, they see everyone else.

It's a heart-breaking feeling.

You do your best. You try so hard to be the best daisy there is. But quite honestly?

There will always be a bigger, better, brighter, whiter, more pollinated, taller, and perfect daisy. That's just how life works. Unless you are God, you cannot be the best... Not to everyone, at least.

When you look at a field full of daisies like the two above, you don't single out any of them. They all kind of jump up at you as they practically scream "pick me!! pick me!!" (no pun intended ;)).

We human 'daisies' do the same thing. We try to follow every mold placed before us of what we should be as a prospect wife or husband. We try to squeeze into the financial molds placed before us. We try to squish ourselves into the personalities that seem to attract the most people. We wiggle and squirm as we try to get the physical properties down... Brushed hair, white teeth, sweet-smelling (unless you're a guy, then it's not sweet.. but still attractive), clean clothes. We are wired it seems, to do whatever we deem necessary to attract the attention of "the one" we want to "pick us."

Here's my challenge.

Rather than trying to mold yourself into the 'daisy' you think you have to be so that you will be picked, why not allow God to prune you into the 'daisy' that He wants you to be?

Why not let Him, not some guy or girl, shape you into the one that He has created you to be? From the beginning, He has known who He wants you to be. He has known the plans He has for you. And better yet,

He knows who He wants to 'pick' you.

Read that again. Not who you think should. But who He wants.

As you allow Him to prune you, you might find that He is taking away from you what makes you look like everyone else. Thing by thing, detail by detail, He will remove all that makes you just like the other daisies, and make you you. It will probably be painful, but what is left in the end is what He wants you to be known for.

He will take the ugliness and make it beautiful.

He will take the mistakes and make them miracles.

He will take the flaws and make them perfect.

He will take the doubts and remind you of promises.

When He is done with you, you will not look like any of the other daisies... They might laugh at you, and you might feel overshadowed by them, but dear daisy, you are anything but overshadowed.

Rather, you have become a daisy that will stand out in a crowd. And there will be one person whose eyes will be drawn to you. They will see the work that He has done, and "pick" you because of that. They will "pick" you because you allowed Him to work on you. When they "pick" you, it will not be because you are bigger, better, brighter, whiter, more pollinated, taller, and perfect...

It will be because you humbled yourself and asked Him to prune you so that you can best bring Him glory. When we humble ourselves before Him and ask for His help, He will reveal the proper time for us to be "picked," outshining all of the other daisies.