Monday, June 11, 2012


The new song on repeat this week, along with the title track of this album, 10,000 Reasons.

How I cannot wait to see Him face-to-face. To fully understand and comprehend all that He did for me... Because He Loves me. To see His face, and kneel before His feet. On that day I will be with Him forever, the things of the earth forgotten, my only focus worshiping Him.

Until that point, may He do all necessary to make my life an endless hallelujah to the King. My Lord. My Abba. The One I know will never leave me or be finished working in me, as He shapes me into a woman who Loves Him more than anything else. A woman who fully believes that to live is Christ, and to die and enter His presence is gain.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


I have decided, I love loving people. I love encouraging them, showing them the positives, pushing them to go on, and getting a smile out of them. Even with people I know, I always find joy in getting a smile out of them. That's the best part about what I'm doing right now - Loving people. I am working with people who have had pain for years, or people who are not used to pain and are suddenly in a world of it. They have little to no hope, and they are discouraged with their progress, or lack thereof.

This week at my clinical was even more heart breaking, as I was placed in a position where I was working with people who were hurting emotionally, not just physically. A senior at the local high school shot himself the morning of graduation last weekend. In his house, where his Mom found him. From what I've gathered it was completely unexpected. He was a "good kid" and one that seemed to have quite a few friends. The speculation about "why" was the hottest topic during any conversation this week. Why would he do that? Why the morning of graduation? Why didn't his parents see it coming? Why in the house? Why?

We often ask "why?" Whether a little kid is curious asking it in response to every sentence directed at them, or a college student is trying to understand a concept. As a word it means "for what reason, cause, or purpose." The purpose part is what I think we most often question. What purpose does this bring? Especially when something is painful, we often cannot see the purpose behind it. I feel horribly sad for the people who look at a situation like this and see absolutely no hope. They have nothing to hold on to, nothing to provide any peace or comfort. Nothing but sheer, raw pain.

As a man or woman of Christ though, we have an answer to any "why" that may come our way. Whether it is a sickness, death, or sudden change we weren't expecting. In the same way that so many people in the Bible suffered, whether the blind man, the lame man, the woman who bled, Hannah, Rachel or Sarah being childless, or Esther being plucked from her life and put in a foreign situation. All of those culminated to a beautiful glorification of God. Those people showed trust, with a strength that is so rarely seen today. Because of that they radiated God.. I half expect that when the enemy looked at them he could barely see them as God's light reflected off of their hearts. Their unwavering trust that God was not punishing them, but rather refining them, led to the desires of their hearts in a timing that honored Him. Even Job, who lost everything that he held dear to him (minus one nagging wife and a few troublesome friends), acknowledged that he would come forth as gold (Job 23:10). If we radiate His Love that strongly, the enemy won't be able to see us to get to us, because our hearts and heads will be so firmly covered in Him.

They took the hard times, and they trusted. They prayed God's Word back to Him. They held Him to His power. They acknowledged His wisdom was greater than anything they could understand, yet they came to Him broken. So broken that they had nothing left but Him. And in that moment, they reflected His Love to those around them. They shone as gold, coming through the trial stronger and with a deeper understanding of Who He is.

I am thankful for this perspective, and realized even more this week how badly I want those around me to be aware of it as well. To know the hope that He brings, even when nothing makes sense. I not only work with people through the day, I pray for them.. There are times when the hurt is so strong, so deep, that nothing but prayer can ease it, and nothing but His word can soothe the sting, and when the only answer to the "why?" is "wait."