Integrity?

What do you do when no one is watching? When you're away from the people that you know will call you out on an unacceptable action, word, or outfit? Do you forget that He is watching?

Going away to college is probably the best opportunity you have to be able to figure that out. I lived happily with my parents my first two years of college before I transferred six hours away.. Until that point, I knew that they were paying attention to what I was doing, where I was going, and even what I was wearing. Now? I know they aren't. And honestly, three or four years ago, I probably would've pushed the envelope had I been in this situation, with this kind of 'freedom'. I am so glad that I didn't have the opportunity.

I know a lot of this is the conviction of the Holy Spirit, but I also think a lot of it comes from the ways that my parents raised me. They raised me to show integrity in my actions and the things I do. They know what I'm doing up here. They trust me to be smart and keep a level head.

The three biggest areas I see people pushing when they come to college are language, booze, and clothing.

This campus is one of the most vulgar, crass settings I have ever been in. There are many times while eating in the cafeteria I have toyed with the idea of shoving someone's face into their plate of food to stop the stream of "colorful" words that are flowing from their mouth like a contorted rainbow. Swearing does not make you sound "cool." On the contrary, as soon as I hear a four letter word fly from your mouth, I lose a good chunk of whatever amount of respect I had for you. There is no need and no reason for it. If anything, it shows you have a lack of creativity to come up with something else to say, or a lack of self-control to keep your mouth shut.
It isn't just swearing though. The amount of disrespect that goes around towards professors, parents, and other teachers is just as prevalent. I was raised to know that if I said something disrespectful, especially towards my parents, I would be able to remember exactly what I said. Because my rear end would be sore for the next couple days. It saddens me to see the people that didn't start off doing this in August, are now doing it. It's infectious.

Booze. Vodka. Rum. Whiskey. Beer. Weed. All of the above. It's everywhere. I would be willing to bet cash that I am the only person on my floor who has never had an alcoholic anything. I would also be willing to bet that half the people on my floor who have had something, did it from curiosity or peer pressure. Thankfully, I was blessed to be able to see what it does to people, and how it makes them act. Any curiosity I had in this area was sated simply through observation this semester.

Next, volleyball shorts are not shorts. They do not count. Anything made out of something other than spandex that is also the same length? Also does not count. Sports bras are made to be worn under a shirt. And a shirt is meant to cover your torso. Crazy, I know. Guys, boxers to breakfast? Really? And belts were created to keep your jeans above your rear end. Not cinch it below.

Joking aside though... I've found this is one area that it would've been all to easy for me to slip up in. While shopping today, I was considering an article of clothing.. I tried it on and decided I would get it. As I put it back on the hanger, that still, small voice kicked in. What am I doing? Buying something cute! But buying something that was more revealing than I should be wearing. But then again... I'm all the way up here. No one would ever know! Except for all the people up here who saw me in it... The Holy Spirit won, and the item went back on the rack.

Am I justifying wearing something up here, simply because there aren't any Christian guys that I know, that I could cause to stumble? (And in all seriousness, I know one Christian guy up here. I've seen him twice this whole semester.) Am I cussing and swearing to fit in? Am I getting so trashed Friday night I don't know what day it is until Sunday?

No.

Why? Because in all three of these areas, integrity and godliness still apply. My actions and attitude here, around those who know that I am a Christian, but yet don't know me, are incredibly important to who I am and the One Who I claim to follow. I cannot honor Him if I am cussing behind His back, getting wasted on the weekends, or dressing in a revealing way. Why? Because you can *not* do *anything* behind His back. If the people around me see me doing any of the above, and confront me, what would my excuse be? I would have none other than I wasn't following His guidance. He gave me the Holy Spirit for a reason, and if for no reason other than this, I am so glad I was able to come up here for the last eight months, to learn to listen to His still, small voice.