Family

You know what I've realized this weekend?

I love my church body. They are amazing.

Standing to the side of the room and watching everyone, there was so much to see....

The little kids, running from room to room. Yelling, chasing, tickling, throwing...

The new Moms, holding their baby, all the older ladies crowded around as they "ooh" and "ahh."

The young Dads, chasing their little ones from one side of the room to the other.. Catching them up, kissing them, and throwing them into the air...

The sweet people who served the meal today, laughing and joking with everyone who came through the line...

The tear-down crew, who cheerfully pull plugs, wind cables, stack chairs, move tables, take down lights...

Over all? I saw a family. A family that has been united in our Love for Christ, and our desire to glorify Him as we Love on the people that come through our doors. The friendship that we have is the kind that will stick out the hard times. It is the kind of friendship that will cause us to come together when one of us is going through a hard time. It is the kind of friendship that will live on forever one day in Heaven... When we worship together yet again, in His presence.

Mercies in Disguise

Mom played this song for me this afternoon when I got home.. This song could be her theme song. Or our family's theme song. The things we viewed as trials; the sleepless nights, the tears, and the raindrops have all lead to His mercies, which are new every morning.

This is a reminder (and a well timed one at that) that sometimes what I pray for won't always come looking the way I want it to. Sometimes our plan isn't His plan, and sometimes life hurts. But this is not our home! I find so much comfort in the fact that all that we go through on this earth is leading to THE moment. The moment when I am in His presence. The moment when I can see His eyes. Touch His hands. Feel His embrace.

All that I worry about now is simply an opportunity to surrender to Him, and see how He blesses us. You can't read through the Psalms without seeing that He wants to bless us. Sometimes though, our own stubbornness and self-sufficiency get in the way, and we fail to see the 'mercies in disguise.'

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

But long that we'd have the faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home,

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

Life Worth Living

So many times over the past few months I have caught myself watching someone and wondering what makes them tick. I want to ask them why they get out of bed morning after morning, why they have any motivation to do anything, and what they think their purpose in life is. With the majority of these people, as I listen to them talk about how wasted they got, who they hooked up with, their last big project at work, or the game they just won, I become increasingly heartbroken for them.. Because really, they have no idea of how amazing their life could be.

For we are His workmanship,

Created in Christ Jesus unto good works,

Which God has before ordained,

That we should walk in them.

(Ephesians 2:10)

This is what they're missing. They're missing out on the idea that Christ created us for His good works. Good works that might not always take us where we want to go. Good works that might have us doing something we didn't think we'd ever do. Good works that might be difficult or uncomfortable. But they are His good works, and if we follow them then there will be a sense of purpose to our lives.

Honestly? I wonder how someone could live day-to-day living for themselves. There are so many people who don't believe in God, and even fewer who live like they are living for Him rather then themselves. What would the point be? Here's your life story:

You're born.. You become an adult.. You might get married.. You die. The end.

And while my life story isn't glamorous or incredible, I would hope that it reads something more like:

She was born.. She walked in His ways in all she did.. She saw His Face.

Do you see how that works? The only things in common there are that we were both born. In my story, I may or may not get married. I may or may not go to school. I may or may not be a highly successful business woman. But no matter what I do, I walk in the ways that He has set before me, trusting as He leads me through each new thing. To me, that is much more fulfilling then living for myself, filling my own physical pleasures. I can see why people are so depressed when they don't have this viewpoint on their lives. It would be downright depressing, because there would be no real purpose to anything that they did.

Thankfully, we have a purpose. We aren't here just to be a 'step above' the plants and animals. We are called to walk in His ways, glorifying and Loving Him so that those around us may see Him and glorify Him as well. And if we do that? We are going to get one heck of a reception when we get to meet Him; Face to face... =).

iBible?

My life the past 10 days has been overcome with Vicodin, sleep, Go-Gurt, pudding, and ice cream. All benefits of having 4 impacted wisdom teeth carved out of my head. The benefit to that time was that I was too out of it to do much studying, and I had scrambled to accomplish most of what was due the next week before the surgery. That left me with all weekend, my notebook, and my Bible.

I love my Bible, and I'm not saying that lightly. I have had it for almost exactly a year, when my parents gave it to me on my 18th birthday. (I kept taking Dad's because I liked the version better than what I had, and the cross-reference numbers are great!!)

I am not one of those people who uses my iPhone as my Bible. Sure, I'll do it in a pinch, but it bugs me to see people doing it in Church, or when I hear of them doing all of their quiet times and devotions off their mechanical device... There is something about having the burgundy, leather-bound, gold-plated book in my hands. It's heavy - it practically weighs as much as I do ;). It has a distinct smell. It's pages crinkle easy...

But it's mine. My Love Letter from my Savior. It is full of highlights, pencil markings, underlines, notes, and dates. In it is everything I could ever imagine about Him. When I read it, I am overwhelmed by His glory and power. I literally cannot fathom His might or His Love.

"The Lord is great, and greatly to be praised,

He is to be feared above all gods.

Splendor and Majesty are before Him,

Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary"

(Psalms 96:4,6)

It blows my mind that He put the Bible together so that we can spend time with Him, learning of His attributes, His personality, His anger, His might, His jealousy, and His overwhelming Love for us. We can seek His guidance, know His will, and learn what is expected of us as His children. In and of itself, the Bible is an example of His Love. If we take the time to read it, ponder it, and search it for what it holds, treating it like the treasure it is, we will not be disappointed.

Having the Bible on my phone is handy when I'm on lunch break and I want to review whatever I'm memorizing. But when I'm seriously spending time with Him, nothing beats having a tangible copy of His Love in my hands. This allows me to spend an unlimited amount of time with Him... without having to worry about running out of battery ;).

Valentine-less?

Roses, chocolate, mushy cards, kisses, hugs, hearts, pink, red... Every February 14th it rolls around once again. And those of us without a significant other usually end up down in the dumps, depressed and/or sickened by the displays of love around us.

I have to admit it surprises me every year how many people I know (specifically the girls) want to skip over tomorrow as if it never existed. Simply because they don't have a guy, and label themselves as 'single'. A couple years ago, I was in the same crowd. I was more focused on myself than being happy for those who are in (hopefully) healthy, strong, and Godly relationships (I'm ignoring the fast-track shallow relationships for now). I was more focused on my immediate wants then what God had in mind for my love life (or lack thereof). I think it's pretty safe to say that every girl goes through that stage. Some stay stuck in it, and some recognize they are being selfish.

Thankfully, He showed me I was being a selfish brat. Not only towards those around me who were happy, but also towards the man He has for me.

"The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil,

All the days of her life."

(Proverbs 31:11-12)

Notice that it doesn't say "All the days after they meet" or "All the days after she says 'I do'." It's all the days of her (my) life. This verse completely rearranged my mindset... Being single isn't a time to goof off and mess around. It's a time to earn his trust, to grow spiritually, to love him, to be faithful to him, and mature to be a woman worthy of being his wife.

That's why I don't dread Valentines day anymore. Honestly, it's exciting! I have seen the way God has woven together the love stories of the people around me, and it excites me. It makes me eager to see what He has in plan for me. The day has become a reminder to pray for the man He has for me, and motivation to continue to trust in God's timing. Yes, some days it is hard. But the good days outweigh the hard days.

So yes, by the worlds standards, I will spend this February 14th "Valentine-less." But I really won't.. =) I have a Dad who loves me and cares for me and an amazing God who has my heart in His hands. And for this Valentine's day at least, that is the way it is supposed to be.

=)

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope;

For why does one also hope for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

(Romans 8:24, 25)

Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement

grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus;

That with one accord you may with one voice

glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

(Romans 15:5-7)

I read these verses two days after spending way too much time worrying. I really like Francis Chan's definition of worry... (which I also read this week).

"worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."

I was also stressing...

"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our right grip of control."

What was I stressing about? Life. College, mainly. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to find out if I have been accepted into the PTA program I applied to last year. Honestly, I'm as impatient sometimes as I can be stubborn. I don't enjoy waiting! I knew the letter telling me the verdict was supposed to come sometime in February, but I was already anxiously awaiting it about halfway through January. It's hard not to think about something like that!

When I read the verses above on Thursday morning, I realized something.

I realized that I was NOT glorifying God with my worrying and stressing over a silly piece of paper. God gives us perseverance through His word and His Spirit, and quite honestly, I had hit the point where I wasn't allowing Him to give that perseverance. I wasn't even hoping for the letter, I was worried. Worried that I might not be good enough, smart enough, or whatever else the board making the decision was looking for.

I spent much time praying that morning... Apologizing, really. Apologizing for not trusting Him and allowing Him to give me encouragement and perseverance. Apologizing for stressing. Apologizing for worrying. After I finished that, I thanked Him for showing me that and told Him that I would wait hopefully until He showed me the plan He has in store for me.

That day at work, I didn't worry about it once. I even spent twenty minutes talking with a co-worker about the program, the expectations, and how I didn't know exactly when I would know if I got in or not. No worries, I felt completely calm about it all. And as I ate lunch, I once again thanked God for His timing.

Fast forward to that night when I get home...

I'm back in my room... Putting all my stuff away from the day and changing into comfy clothes (forget the khakis and dress shirt!). This is also the first day in the last couple weeks that I wasn't disappointed to see that there wasn't a letter waiting for me on my bed (where my mail is normally put, so I actually get it!).

Mom calls me out to the living room.

She has an envelope.

From Finlandia University.

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a second.

She had me sit next to her, and we opened it together...

I cried.

Mom and I sat there and prayed, thanking God for His provision and how He has worked so mightily in my life this past year... And I cried again(And then in typical college student style, I went and made my phone calls telling everyone and made it "Facebook Official.";-]).

ONE day. That's all it took... It really does floor me when I think that I had honestly surrendered it that morning for the first time, and then I got the letter when I got home roughly twelve hours after I told Him it was all His, and I was done spazzing over it.

Needless to say, I am excited! Not just because I got in the program, but because I have once again seen first-hand how amazing my God is. How much He Loves me. And how my ways are not His ways, which is why I have got to let Him do what He is going to do, in His time. I know 12 hours is probably a record of some sort for a quick reply on His end. Sometimes He asks us to wait for months, days, or even years.. Patiently, giving Him the glory He deserves.

One last picture... This will go in the mail tomorrow, officially holding my spot in the program =).

(I am sorry these are blurry... Blame my iPhone!)

So Mom asked me today when I was going to write my next blog post. My response?

"When I have no more homework."

Yeah...... That'll be a while.

But honestly, I was thinking about what I would write if I wrote one, and I simply can't choose.

I could tell you about my new job (which I LOVE).

I could tell you about school (which I also love, just find overwhelming at times).

I could tell you about how I have impacted wisdom teeth and can't eat anything hard or chewy without intense pain (this bites, I like Skittles, Snickers, and Steak too much for this diet :P).

I could tell you about how we started another Bible Study, on Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

I could tell you about how I never seem to sleep anymore (this also bites, but I think until I am free of my wisdom teeth, it will be normal).

I could tell you that I am uber excited the Packers made the Super Bowl! (and knowing that my Uncle will have Heavenly front-row seats to see his favorite team play in the Super Bowl!!! <3)

See? Too many options. When I have something that excites me lately, I find someone to tell. Because if I don't tell someone right away, I forget. And then fall asleep. And then it's gone... Zzzz...

But seriously? I think my devotion and prayer time have become so personal and so sweet, that for the most part, I'm writing it away. Holding it close to my heart. There are aspects of it that I want to share, and I do share them. But the majority of what God has been showing me lately has been just between He and I. And frankly, I'm loving it.

He is showing me what it means to Love, to be patient, to trust, to grow in Him so that I can grow to the role(s) He has for me in the future, whatever they may be. He is giving me trials, however large or small they may be, and helping me learn how to react to them by leaning and depending on Him. He is giving me opportunities to bless and serve, even if it is hard and I have to grit my teeth in the beginning, or sacrifice something else that would bless me, so that I can bless someone else. His Word has really become my Love Letter, and as I wake up each morning, I'm excited to see what it has to hold for me. As I go to bed each night, I have to crack it open one more time to see what else He has to say for me. And sure, there are days where I'm like "huh. Ok..." and there are also days where I fall asleep before I get it all the way open ;-). But mostly, I come away from my time with Him feeling so Loved and cherished.

And that, is why I haven't been writing lately. I do have things here and there I will write about, a couple have come to mind. But for now, I will stick with reading my Love Letter and learning all that I can about Him =).

My favorite verses of late...

Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For, behold, those who are far from Thee will perish;

Thou hast destroyed all those who are unfaithful to Thee.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God my refuge.

That I may tell of all Thy works.

(Psalms 73:25-28)

(Oh, one more thing.... GO PACKERS!!!!!)